Agency for Change : A Podcast from KidGlov

Changemaker Tina Bakehouse, Intuitive Communication Coach, Tina B. LLC

• KidGlov • Season 1 • Episode 225

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What if you could uncover the secret to becoming a truly magnetic communicator? Join us as we welcome Tina Bakehouse, an intuitive communications coach and the dynamic force behind Tina B LLC. Tina's approach is all about tapping into your unique inner magnetism, helping you communicate with confidence and authenticity. Throughout this episode, she breaks down her proven methodology, highlighting the significance of mindset, message, and mechanics in mastering effective communication. Whether you're looking to overcome the fear of public speaking or aiming to refine your leadership skills, Tina's insights are both invaluable and transformative.

Welcome to the Agency for Change podcast.

Connect with Tina and Tina B. LLC at: 

·       Website – tinabakehouse.com 

·       Order Tina’s book, Discovering Our Magnetic Speaker Within – tinabakehouse.com/book 

Tina Bakehouse: 0:01

Be you and be true.

Announcer: 0:05

Welcome to Agency for Change, a podcast from KidGlov that brings you the stories of changemakers who are actively working to improve our communities. In every episode, we'll meet with people who are making a lasting impact in the places we call home. 

Lyn Wineman: 0:29

Hey everyone. This is Lyn Wineman, President and Chief Strategist at KidGlov. Welcome back to another episode of the Agency for Change podcast. All right, so everyone raise your hand if you have a fear of public speaking and of course I can't see you because this is a podcast, but if you did raise your hand, or if you even just get those butterflies in your stomach or you want to improve your presence when you speak publicly, you'll want to give today a listen. We are talking with Tina Bakehouse. She is an intuitive communications coach and owner of Tina B LLC. She also has written the book Discovering Our Magnetic Speaker Within and has a course on magnetic communication. So I can't wait for you to listen in. Tina, welcome to the podcast.

Tina Bakehouse: 1:30

Thank you so much, Lyn. It's wonderful to be here.

Lyn Wineman: 1:34

I get the sense that we are going to have a fun conversation today, and I'd love just to start by having you tell me about this great title that you have. You're an intuitive communication coach. Tell me more about what that looks like, and then what you offer through Tina B LLC.

Tina Bakehouse: 1:56

Yeah, isn't it interesting as we work for ourselves. The very first thing when I go into networking is people ask you, well, what's your job title or what do you do? And it's been a challenge and ever evolving as I'm working towards five years of working for myself, when I've been in the world and field of education, of creative work, of nonprofit production and strategy and all things communication. So I started out as a cheap communicator. I thought, well, that's kind of fun as I teach communication things of that nature. I played with communication coach, communication consultant, educator guide, yada, yada, yada.

Well, I really started to step back and really asked my clients what is it you get out from working with me? And the word that kept coming up is you really are intuitive, you really tune into me, you meet me where I am and draw out of me that intermagnetism for any form of communication, whether it's building my business story or getting a nonprofit clarity with our strategy or being that CEO that is very confident with an abstract idea that needs it to be clearer. So yeah, as an intuitive communication coach, I look at it as the word intuitive I think we're ready for it's tapping into the inner yummy, if you will, of an individual and going with that beautiful, perceptive, insightful way of knowing. So when I'm with a client, I'm with them. I have an ability to, a unique ability to compassionately listen to, compassionately see them for who they are, that they may miss, and draw out of them their gifts, to be able to stand firm in their power and own their story and find their voice inside. And so we work with their mindset, their message and their mechanics and we get at the psychology piece, the awareness piece, but then also some strategies for how to use your words in just a beautiful, creative, powerful way to make that impact you desire.

And so what I offer at Tina B LLC are a myriad of things, ranging from my favorite, which is the Magnetic Speaker or Leadership Series. It's a six-month individual program and I work with folks to individualize a mastermind, whether they want a TED Talk, a keynote, or they just want to get more at peace with themselves, to not find this thing we call public speaking so daunting. The other thing I offer are a wide range of workshops, virtually for organizations like University of UC Davis out of California, where I can do it that way or in person, and it's anything from yes and leadership, of being in that attitude, that I use improv to really get us to be bold and fully present and listeners as leaders, as well as storytelling, temperament and magnetic communication. And then I also do keynotes a wide range from for leaders as well as for youth and beyond. 

Lyn Wineman: 5:10

Wow Tina, that's a lot. I didn't realize how loaded that one question was, but that's a lot. I'm even going to just wind back. I so love the title intuitive communications coach, because I've never heard that before, right, and I think differentiating is so important. And then when you describe the phrase pulling out the inner yummy, it's like that is, that is truly delicious, but you can't really have that be your title, right, but it's, or maybe you could, but it all kind of really works together and I love that so much. I think, between you and I, we've probably all heard and felt the pain of a leader that's maybe in a new role, or they're in a very, maybe abstract field, or they're communicating an abstract idea and you ask them about it and they just they freeze up a little bit and you can feel it. You can feel them freeze up a little bit because they don't know what to say. And if you freeze and people feel that you've lost the power of the moment, haven't you?

Tina Bakehouse: 6:23

Yeah, absolutely, and I think what it is is they're not fully present. What we do so many times is, as human beings, we have this amazing amygdala or brain that creates stories. We either go to the past of that fear-based whatever happened and we're like oh, that happened before, will this happen again with this person in this way, or we go into the futuristic piece, which is even a bigger screen TV movie, if you will, that creates crazy monsters and characters and gets us scared, and so we do it safe and I've really found in my inner work with myself but also with clients is at the core if we don't feel safe or we don't have that freedom to express ourselves.

And so it's really feeling foundationally safe in the space and safe within ourselves, having that self-love. And a lot of the people I've worked with it's been revealed that it's been traumas that they haven't really dealt with, whether at a child stage or a young adult stage, and that impacts your communication.

Lyn Wineman: 7:29

Wow, you probably, as you went into this field, didn't realize you were going to become like a psychologist along with it. Or maybe you did realize it.

Tina Bakehouse: 7:40

Well, yeah, I didn't realize it but at the same time, in my educational field, I always had a fascination with psychology. I think it's a beautiful marriage communication psychology To make those impacts and to influence people. But to connect and co-create messages and to get in that dance of conversation we need emotional intelligence, being aware of how are we feeling? What do we need in this moment? What is the other need in this moment? Are we seeing that? And then also, how do we communicate? Are we being a clear, open communicator? Are we more closed, hidden or blind? And that definitely affects how we move forward in the communication.

Lyn Wineman: 8:19

Wow, so fascinating, right. So now let's talk a bit about. You mentioned the magnetic communications curriculum that you've put together. Why is being a magnetic communicator really essential for leaders right now?

Tina Bakehouse: 8:36

Well, more than ever before, if you're a leader, why are you leading? What is it you're wanting to do? Who are you being?

And for me, no change happens without some form of attraction to the idea. The way of the words are coming out, the body language, the overall essence of that person, and so the word magnetic bringing out, and, I even think, the word light. We all have an inner light within us, you know. So you light a candle and it can either have a small spark or a big one. And if you have a spark and that passion guides that communication, you're going to get a troop of people to follow you into your mission. So the strongest and most beautiful, you know ways of change that have happened are from people that have decided I care about this thing, I want to get you to care for it. So how can I advocate that? Well, it's through your message, but it's also through that delivery, and that two together create magnetism. So it's using your words, your voice, your body, your energy and overall essence to make that impact you desire.

Lyn Wineman: 9:46

I love the way you describe that. It's so much more than we learned in our high school or our college speech class, right when you frame up the speech and you practice and you do it. It's really that kind of belief, that belief that you build in what you say, so I love that. So you've also written a book, and everyone who listens to the podcast knows that I love authors. Writing a book is a goal of mine. I'm 10 chapters into what I believe will be a 12-chapter book, so tell us about the book. It's called Discovering Our Magnetic Speaker Within. Tell us about the book and tell me oh, I see it, you're holding it up. I'm doing the Vanna White.

Tina Bakehouse: 10:36

I love it yes.

Lyn Wineman: 10:37

It's beautiful, by the way.

Tina Bakehouse: 10:39

The cover turned out so nice I like the magnetism, and there's something about like purple's my favorite color, because it is kind of that royalty, that crown, that spirituality, because there is a spirituality piece about communication. I really feel we are. You know, we are human, we are souls in this human-like experience and if you don't draw your soul to others, you're not going to tap into the hearts of other people. And so the title in and of itself it's a mouthful, but there is a reason for it. I chose discovering with the ING because we're always on a path and journey of learning.

I'm still discovering a lot about my own speaker style and I never stopped learning. It's like oh, that's interesting. How can I play with this, do this, do that or explore? So the ing, instead of just discover, was purposeful. The hour and my editor was like well, why don't you make it your? Well, it's a dance between among us all. It's an hour, a wee thing.

And if you don't have an audience. It's kind of like if a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it did it ever happen? But if you give a speech and it lands on zero people's ears, like they're all like on their phones, or distracted did it really happen? We have to have an audience to speak, so this book is a love project. It was a two-year project. I collaborated with the publishers manuscript publishing out of Georgetown University. So, I went through their book creators class and then got approved to land a publishing experience contract with them, and so I had five editors. But they were so valuable. The developmental editor really helped me on formulating the overall big idea and then the revisions editor looked at the paragraphs and sort of line by lines and getting active voice and really strong story. And then they had copy editing, proof writers and all kinds of different people and structural like is it structured well? 

So I broke it down into three parts the magnetic mind message and mechanics. In the mind, I really interview psychologists and different people in that field that look at how do we think, how do we be? What does it mean to be authentic? What is our authentic self? What's our temperament? What does temperament have to do with being magnetic? Is it DNA driven or is it going to be trained and learned? And I thought these were all really thoughtful questions. So it has interviews of stories from myself my own life, but other people and then strategies and tips and things to actually engage in to get you to that magnetic mindset.

The second piece, or beat, is the message, and I look into how do you be creative with your message, use humor in your own way and storytelling all of that, and so I interview storytellers, improvisers et cetera to get into that and that really helps, I think hone in on that. We all have this ability to think about language in a powerful, meaningful way, and it can take practice. It just takes preparation and practice. And then the last part is the magnetic mechanics and that's looking at the voice and the body, and so it's exploring a vocal speech coach I interviewed, as well as other people that are in that vein of how do we use this tool, this instrument that's so powerful in a meaningful way, and the orchestra of our body and bring it together to really align with our message. And so that's the book I feel like it really does a great job of being a resource that I hope people carry with them write in it that they refer to it. It's not a one and done kind of read, and it's also one that you can flip and go. Oh my gosh, I have a story I need to share at a workshop. How do I do that? Go to chapter seven. Boom, you don't have to read it from cover to cover. You can do it in bits and pieces.

Lyn Wineman: 14:51

Oh, that sounds very well done. Well, I've just started it, Tina, and I can't wait to dig into the rest of the book. So thanks for telling us about that. So one of the things I know you talk about, too, is heart-centered leadership, and I can start to see the thread as you talk about communication being a spiritual process and the magnetism of this. But in your mind, why is that heart-centered leadership so important overall?

Tina Bakehouse: 15:27

I am very cerebral by nature as I love to learn. The best and most powerful experiences I've ever seen make the most beautiful changes has come from the heart. And sometimes our hearts are talking to us so loudly but we tend to ignore them because the mind gets pretty powerful and I found in the work that I have done, the people that have led with heart are more audience people centered, they go for the greater common good and beautiful things come to manifest. So, for example, years ago I got to collaborate with farmers and artists from Southwest Iowa, Nebraska, to create ag arts camps, and it was teaching people where their food comes from and using art as the tool, whether it was visual performance with singing or storytelling, to say, okay, what dirt and soil are different, and let's act this out like the three sisters, and or create pots from soil, from the land and all of that, and then eat naturally grown food from local farmers and communicate the importance of it's all interconnected and so, coming from heart, the heart is way more powerful than the mind. There's more and more studies out there that are showing that it just has so much more magnitude and magnetic energy that it has the ability to heal, Dr Joe Dispenza and his work has shown that if people are all together in a centered space from their heart, doing all the meditation together, that they can help heal. 

So there's real power in that and I come from the space of if we come from heart and come from love, where there is love, there is no fear. Where there's curiosity, there is no hate. And why not be a curious, open leader who's instead of going well, that's different. I don't like that. That's uncomfortable. Come with it from heart and curiosity and ask more questions and explore, because the best changes come from creativity and open-mindedness. And if we decide to stay stagnant, then we are holding ourselves back from growth.

Lyn Wineman: 17:43

You know, Tina, one thing I love about this point in time in 2024 is that leaders are talking about being heart-centered and they are talking about having empathy and they are talking about some of these more emotional and intuitive things. I was just talking with someone yesterday about the fact that I think if in the early 1990s, when I first hit the business world as a woman in a fairly male-dominated field at the time, if I would have started talking about being heart-centered or empathetic, everybody would have said no, no, no, you need to be tough, right, you need to toughen up, and I love the fact that you know research and realization have come together to realize that the heart is an important part in this equation. So thank you for your part also in building towards that movement. So, Tina, I'd love to hear a little bit more about your work in practice, Like what are some of the things that you do to help leaders find and share those unique stories and get to that point of magnetism? What does it look like?

Tina Bakehouse: 19:00

Yeah, well, a lot of it. First of all is I have a lot of clients that end up coming with this mindset I'm not a storyteller. I was guilty of it myself. In fact, years ago, one of my clients said Tina, you're a storyteller, you need to own it. And even as an author, like it took me a long time to even say, oh, I'm not doing a writing project, I'm actually a published author. Like this is a thing. I think we as human beings because I was worried, well, that's ego and all of that right, we are as human beings. We are natural born orators of our own lives. John Capecci said that who's a communication strategist? And I totally agree we are. We tell stories every day without even knowing it, and I think a lot of people attach. Well, I don't know how to get to the point. I one of two spectrums either I have zero stories to tell, or I have so many I don't know what to do, and either it's too short and terse or it's too long and verbose. So I love working with people to say okay, first of all, you all have gold and we need to mine for the gold.

I love Let the Story Do the Work, it's a great book by Choi and I'm trying to remember her name, but her last name is Choi and she talks about that all of us have gold inside of us. It's just a matter of mining through our experiences as children. We have yummy stories there as young adults and in different contexts professionally, personally, travels and beyond and we learn those life lessons.

So a lot of it is first getting to that mind. It's the mindset piece of yes, you are a storyteller, and getting that crippled, discouraging belief gone. Then we go into the structure piece of the messaging, and I teach the five beats of story as well as what does it take. What do you want the story to do for you is a core question, especially in business, because it's such a powerful persuasive tool and work with them to massage a beautiful beginning, middle and end to show what is that lesson learned, how do we get to that lesson learned and explore different emotions and sensory details that really texture the story in a great way, because that's what draws us in and connects our brains. You know there's Paul Zach is a researcher that says your oxytocin actually increases in the audience when they hear stories.

So guess what, if you're wanting money as a nonprofit or as a business, tell a story, because guess what, they're going to be on the same wavelength. And they want to help you. The helping hormone is going to increase and then, following that, it's just the practice of delivery. So I do guided practices with my clients to get them to that beginning, that middle and an end, so that they feel so good about what they've produced because you can write it out or structure it as an outline and then freeze and into the context of having to say it in a high stakes experience, like if you're going to a board to get land funding, you're freaked out, maybe about that.

So how do you make it extemporaneous and fluid, not mechanical and super manuscript. I work with them on that. So I meet the person where they are and everybody comes with different. I meet the person where they are and everybody comes with different thoughts about their voice and story, different experiences. And I love sitting with the one-on-one client and saying, okay, let's brainstorm, let's get that story and then help them craft it and then practice drawing it out of them.

Lyn Wineman: 22:29

That's fantastic. It makes me think, Tina, you talked earlier about having the five editors for the book. It sounds kind of like through your process, you are editing the verbal messaging as well, which I think is so, so helpful. So that's fantastic. So, all right for anybody that's out there listening, and I'm sure there's probably quite a few people who are thinking, hey, I really I hear what you're saying, but I'm not a speaker, I'm not a storyteller, you know. Can you give a few tidbits of advice for people who want to improve their communication skills in a public setting?

Tina Bakehouse: 23:11

Absolutely Well. I think the very first thing that you can do is preparation and it's something that is in your control. So, ask yourself where are your gaps? If you have an upcoming speaking experience and its new then asking yourself, what does the audience expect in this experience? Look at the context overall and do your research. So I always, before a keynote, really have a conversation with the organizer to get where is this organization at? What's the morale? Are people coming in voluntarily or are they forced to come and listen to me? Are they in a good space? Are they in a growth space? Knowing that emotional space where the audience is, you can meet them where they are with your examples of story and your overall idea of the message. And so preparation is king and queen and all the things, and that is in your control. 

So once you find out the audience, which drives I would say find out about audience first then you can craft your message. And that message needs to align with what your audience needs in that given moment. And you want to know the time constraints. Is it a 15 minute like TED talk kind of thing, or is it an hour long? Is it a workshop style, et cetera. That all matters and that's all under umbrella, under the preparation. So that's my first tip Prepare, prepare, prepare. Audience. I love it and you know, think about it. Your context drives the content. Okay, so context is your audience, the speaking situation and timeframe and time of day. All of that good stuff.

And then the second piece is the practice. Have a clear form of practice and don't do it to a point where it's robotic and too much, because it will come off icky. Have a sort of a speaker ritual, which I always do, and I've loosened up a little bit over time because of the experience. I've been doing this for more than a couple of decades and it also depends on the stakes. If it's for high school of hundreds of kiddos, that's a different experience than a thousand CEOs, right, it's just different vibe, different experience, and so have sort of a practice. 

You know, for me it's putting on music that gets me jammed up and excited right before and get some movement in. And I also have practice along the way and I do parts and pieces along the way instead of the whole thing all the time, so that it's sort of in my brain, memory and in my body. So preparation, practice and then pause. The pause is beautiful. So pause for the self, not only during the talk. There's so much power in that. We tend to race through our ideas and we tend to say do you have any questions? And instead say what questions do you have for me? And always make sure you get at least one question. Have a good pause with that and embed pause within your presentation. But also pause If you are finding that a sentence when you're practicing or when you're working with something and it's not really feeling right or true. Guess what? You need to pause and step back and reflect and make a change. So preparation, practice, pause.

Lyn Wineman: 26:31

I love that you separated preparation and practice too, because I think it would be easy to kind of lump those things together. But as I perceive it, the preparation is really understanding the setting and formulating your message, and the practice is you maybe physically getting ready to deliver it. Is that a fair separation between the two?

Tina Bakehouse: 26:53

Yeah and I would say preparations like context and content and all the things like that you can prepare ahead of time. You can also use the word preparation of body as well, but the practice is saying it out loud, what it sounds like with your voice, feeling it in your body. Also, having sort of a speaker ritual the week prior, the day prior, like, depending on how big the presentation is, if you're visiting school and it's low key, that's a very different experience than if you're traveling internationally to a conference and doing a keynote. So it's that level of decorum and that's the amount of speaker ritual and practice that you need to put into it.

Lyn Wineman: 27:33

That's wonderful. So, Tina, I would imagine that another thing people could do is get the book or take the class. For people who are interested. How do they connect with you? How do they find the book? How do they find the class?

Tina Bakehouse: 27:47

Yeah, the easiest way is on my website and it's simply tinabakehouse.com. So Tina. T-I-N-A B-A-K-E-H-O-U-S-E. So bake as in baking cookies houses in casa dotcom, and you can find the book there. In fact, I can mail it to you and autograph it If you would like you can sign up for my newsletter, which I do a couple a month, with tips and tools on story and preparation and presentation all things communication and reach out to me. I'm happy to do virtual or in-person coffees, depending on where you're located and you know, support you and guide you, or even just ask a simple question, because I love to have those conversations. I'm here to support and help for the greater good.

Lyn Wineman: 28:35

That's awesome. And for anybody who didn't get that, although tinabakehouse.com pretty easy to remember, we will have that link in the show notes on the KidGlov website as well. All right, Tina, I've been waiting to ask this question because I can't wait to hear your answer. It's my favorite question. We've asked it on every single podcast episode for Agency for Change, but I am personally inspired by motivational quotes. Could you give us a Tina Bakehouse original to inspire our audience?

Tina Bakehouse: 29:08

I'd love to Lyn, Be you and be true.

Lyn Wineman: 29:12

Ooh yeah, tell me more.

Tina Bakehouse: 29:14

Tell me what that means to you, what that means to me is it's similar as winter is beckoning upon us here in the Midwest. Yeah, every snowflake is so unique. And we've heard this word authenticity. Be authentic, be authentic. Well, step into your truth and your integrity matters. There's no other Lyn in the world like you. There's no other Tina B in the world like me.

Tina Bakehouse: 29:37

And that's sometimes been trippy for me to figure out. You know, starting my business like, oh my goodness, there's a myriad of communication coaches out there. How do I set myself apart? Well, same with speaking and communicating. How do you be the you-iest you?

I sound like Dr Seuss, and that is coming from the heart, like what is it that you want, desire, need and what draws you in? And I created a proclamation of I'm a passionate, powerful, creative, intuitive leader. And I say that every day to myself and stand in a stance where I put my hands on my heart so that I meet myself and the other where they are and hold space for them. So the being you is that clarity of what makes you you. What do you love? How can you put it out there? Like your passion for what you do, what your book is about, what you're educating people, how you support entrepreneurs, but we're more than our profession. We're our creativity, we're all creators.

I always correct people and they're like well, I'm not creative, yes, you are. We always tend to say I call myself a creative artist and everybody is a form of a creator in something. It doesn't have to be in the performing arts or visual arts. It's beyond that. And then the be true, the true part, is and this is where I have learned in my years of theater because I do enjoy performance and I've done improv, musical improv and straight up improv and I find it delightful the most beautiful stage performances are the ones that are most true and real. So trying to be funny when you're forcing it doesn't come off so nicely.

However, if you're making your scene partner look good, like a million bucks, and you're with them, completely present in the moment, and you're being true to what the what's unraveling in the conversation, you're going to get the laughs, you're going to get the responses from the audience, and so it's what is this moment asking you to be and who is that being? That's in that moment. And how do you get the words out if you don't understand within and that's what I love when I work with clients is there's a lot of gaps and we don't know our temperament. What is our core value that affects and influences our words, our way in which we speak and lead and work, and our authentic selves. And who's driving the bus? Is it your 10 year old self or loving adult?

Lyn Wineman: 32:09

Wow, there's so much packed into those five words. Be you and be true, that's fantastic. All right, tina, as we kind of wrap up this great conversation and I feel like I could talk to you and listen to you all day, but I'd love for you to answer what is the most important thing you would like our listeners to remember about the work that you're doing.

Tina Bakehouse: 32:35

I love my clients and I love seeing beauty in the world, and I think about the people I've worked with, whether it's a farmer who is doing cover crops for the greater good of the soil, the health of the soil, or it's a healthcare professional who is trying to heal people's traumas, or it's an educator who is trying to get to empower youth. I've worked with a wide range of people or financial planners to helping people budget their money so that they can make a go of their business.

I found that the most important thing is understanding that if you don't talk about it, you can't make change, and so we are all communicators. There are stages in every space and way. So whether it's in a networking space, where you are interested in someone else and you take that moment to truly listen, or you accept a panel discussion, and you're able to answer questions that people are pining about, or you are going to an experience, a conference, and you ask that one question, even though you're not the speaker facilitating the workshop, you can change a person's life. Too many times in my work I've found people choose not to speak. They're too scared, they're too worried about judgment. They think small. They're led by fear rather than the firm faith and in my work I soften that fear, the fear is always going to be there. It's this little gremlin, or almost like a Goliath, like that talks on your shoulder and says you can't do this. Blah, blah, blah. It’s going to be there. But what I do in my work is soften that gremlin, that inner voice, that inner critic, to then have you stand firm in your faith so that you can make change in the world. Because what do you do with an idea? You can change the world, whether it's your small school or your community of a small town, your county beyond. But words do it, and if you don't speak you can't make change. I love helping those people who are advocates for change speak.

Lyn Wineman: 34:55

That is so beautiful, Tina, and I know there's a lot of advocates for change listening to this podcast. I'm just going to say, Tina, I fully believe the world needs more people like you, more books and classes like the ones you are putting together, and I just really appreciate you taking the time with us today.

Tina Bakehouse: 35:16

Well, Lyn, it's been an absolute delight. I'm so grateful we connected and that you invited me to your podcast, and you are a beautiful soul doing cool things. Thank you for a delightful conversation. 

Announcer: 35:30

We hope you enjoyed today's Agency for Change podcast. To hear all our interviews with those who are making a positive change in our communities or to nominate a changemaker you'd love to hear from. Visit kidglov.com at K-I-D-G-L-O-V.com to get in touch, as always. If you like what you've heard today, be sure to rate, review, subscribe and share. Thanks for listening and we'll see you next time.